my fault

if i could just turn back time. I wouldnt have done that stupid mistake. But now that i hurt him and he doesnt wanna trust me back, i think i have to get out of his life now. Just that, I still find it very hard to believe that were over, that i have to forget about the promises he made to me. That, i'll not be meeting him at the airport anymore, and he wont come here for me now coz were over. I feel so bad about myself. He's my life and the thought of us keeps me strong for all these years. Just that, i love him so much and i sound so desperate but yeah i am. its very painful having to live a life alone without him. Those times we share, the bond, the friendship we made, the times we just spent together. its all gone and its all my fault. i am to blame. i hate my self forever. i felt so helpless i dont know what to do without him and he doesnt want me anymore.. i just have to face it. i dont know what to do now, it seems so meaningless, i feel like nobody loves me anymore. im left all alone. i just wanna end this all. my life sucks without him and he wont come back and its very very hard for me to believe it.