im in love

I used to think that its kind of overrated. Until of course, I've proven myself wrong for tagging it as such. Love comes to all of us, in almost all shapes, almost all colors, almost every angle. Love is very profound that for the life of me, I can't even contain it in just a simple sentence. Yes it is. I've grown to realize how love could walk into someone else's door. I've seen some of its form in the many faces of people that are happy, in pain, and struggling for it. I've seen it through my parents, my sisters, my friends, through couples i see hand in hand, and to churches i pass by as a wedding is held. I've seen it through my friends' cries and pains. I've seen it through hatred and jealousy, through martyrdom... i've seen a thousand of movies about love and not one of them tells the same exact love story. It has different complications but its all about love.

I've seen alot about it. Surreal, ideal, perfect, happy endings, impossible and just.. just real. And it makes me ponder on to my own experience. What's my story, how did I find it, how did it come to me.

Yes, its Mike. He is my story. I found love in him. Four years of being with him, (not maybe literally) I am now in the point of my life ready to say that he is going to be the man I will fight for. (Girls could do that eh). He is no doubt the man God had given me to live for. I mean, if this is not love how else could i decently describe the passion to wait, the passion to understand him and the passion to accept him wholeheartedly without any judgments. With him, I feel like i can beat all the odds. Loving someone is a decision and you would need to make a stand. I wanna stay in love with him. In him, I feel i could face up all the challenges, he lits the courage in me.

Loving him is painful yet its all worth it. For now, I love him and this is all I know. I pray and together with our mutual efforts would strive hard for us to be together as what we are destined to be. He is the missing part of me and Im so glad I found him. Most of all, Im happy that despite of the hardship in making our relationship work out, our love for each other remained faithful and strong.

I LOVE YOU MIKE, and Happy Birthday!

when love dies...

it's actually written by Melanie T. Lim of SunStar Cebu.. So simple yet very true

SOMETIMES, love dies. And there is no easy explanation for it.

Some of us see it coming. Some of us don’t. But most of us try not to see it at all. Because it is easier to pretend that all is well rather than admit that your dreams have been shattered and you are left only with the broken pieces of your heart.

It hurts to imagine the person we love with someone else. It hurts to no longer be the object of his affections. It hurts to no longer be the centre of his universe. It hurts to no longer be wanted. It hurts to be discarded, replaced and dumped unceremoniously like an old rag that has outlived its usefulness.

It hurts to no longer be loved.

But it happens everyday to the best among us- to the beautiful, the kind, the talented, the smart, the successful, the multi-awarded. It happens to the perfect wife, sister, friend and mother. It happens to the civic leader, the CEO, the cover girl.

Whether or not it’s something we did or didn’t do, sometimes, love just dies. And over thinking (as my sister would say) would serve no purpose.

To be loved is a blessing. But to no longer be loved is not necessarily a tragedy.

We’ve been raised since childhood to believe that love must last forever. And perhaps it must. But isn’t it possible to simply savour the moment and become richer by it without wanting to possess it forever? Isn’t it possible to love and let go and love again?

Isn’t it possible to love forever but to love different people over time?

It’s all right to no longer be loved. It’s all right to stop loving. It’s all right to mourn for love’s losses but to condemn yourself to a life of misery because your love did not last forever is foolhardy. If love must die, let it go peacefully into the night.

But don’t keep score. Love is not a contest. It is not a competition to see who emerges the prettiest, the craftiest or toughest. Love is what it is- a GIFT. It cannot be forced on anyone.

Neither can it be forced out of anyone. So let it be.

When love dies, hold on to the memories. But let go of the one you love.

i didnt come to work

i am honestly tired of work. dont know what to do next. i dont know what to do from here. but i should slow down and just enjoy myself :) i need to spare myself from the pain, anxiety and frustrations. If they dont care about me or they dont want to show it, then i should still be fine because in the end, i got no one but myself. but of course, im still hoping that i could find my HOME soon :D :D

my dream

i usually wake up for work at 9pm and go out of the house at 9:30pm. Last night, I remember waking up at 8:58pm and because of my sleeping disorders, I felt sooo effin tired and decided to steal few minutes of my sleep.

So i went to work that night and I dont know why Im in CVG Banawa. Maybe because Mitch sent me a text message that she's there. So i replied to her message and someone put an arm on me and took my phone. I was so shocked that I didnt even notice a knife stabbed on the side of my hip until i saw the scarlet red thing on my dress... He took my fone and stabbed me.

it was 9:28pm when i woke up. Good thing it was all a dream, bad thing, im running late for work AGAIN. I left my fone at home because dreams are prophecies..

im soo scared last night coz it felt soo real. How can i still dream with so much little time to sleep.. urghh

crazy

im scared! oh God i cant sleep.. this is toooo much for me :( :(

Valentines Day

Had a fight with Mike. We always fight and he is always mad and that makes him forget that I also have feelings too. Sometimes im just so tired to be the only one who'd always keep on understanding him. I sometimes feel that I am the only one giving in to some situation. But, to be fair, he also gets an A for effort in trying to go online for me. Well, bottom line is; I just want to spend time on Valentines with him but it ended up really bad. I think he is also tired (as always) and I would just have to understand and extend more of my patience. Sometimes though, I wanna be the one to be understood :( and i noticed, we always had BIG FIGHTS on special days. What a traumatic way to remember these dates!!

I went to sunday church. I know I've been real bad when it comes to my spiritual obligation. Yesterday though, when we went to church, I realized how blessed we are for having my sister around for us. Though she is also a FULL TIME GF, I also am thankful that she never abandoned us and always finds time to take us out or do something for us since my parents are not around most of the time. (and now im about to cry). Sometimes, when im too hurt I just relied to the thought that she loves me and im lucky enough coz not everyone would have a sister like her.

Valentines Date. Too bad I didnt have my camera with me yesterday. We had an italian dinner last night with my siblings and my friends. I thank them for making my valentines day a whole lot better. I cant help but praise their food. Im not really the pro when it comes to pasta and pizza but i simply enjoyed their food and two thumbs up for that. (not to mention the cozy ambiance of the place)

Bowling. After dinner, we hit Bowling Plex. My brother Miko enjoyed bowling so much. It was his first time and he was good im so proud of him! Well i suck bowling but i enjoyed it though especially that I am with my family. Had called Papa for a few times too coz we miss him soo much! (Papa being in Manila), By the way, my dad was the one to first greet me Happy Valentines :) and Mike never did :( anyway..

My sis, his bf and my siblings decided to play pool so I went ahead to meet Bing and Cris. So we had our little group date, THREE is a crowd. haha. Chilled at the coffee shop and kept on taking secret snaps to Bing's crush which happened to be Lyn's teacher in Philosophy in college.. and oh boy, it was just funny trying to be a paparazzi with Bing's DSLR camera. (coo cam, i wanna get one! haha)

CABANAS. and of course, Videoke is our forte! Had to stay 4 hours till the wee hours of the morning to sing our hearts out and danced like crazy.. literally. So i enjoyed their little company and just laugh about how singular we three can be.. haha

WORK. So tonight, I'd be back to work and the thought of it pains me!! Geez, I cant believe my 4 days off is over. but anyway, I think it was all good though. I get to relax (if not rest) and had time to think over my options as to where to go from here since i'll be submitting my resignation letter tonight.

So that's pretty much about it. I hope i can sleep later for work :( I felt like i dont have peace in mind and it is really difficult for me to doze off... ohh geezz I just wanna have like a record breaking 15 hour sleep!!

things i'd love to own

i always imagine myself strolling around a baby car. if i cant get myself someone who can company me, a car might just be a perfect substitute. Other than that, Im so tired of riding jeepneys.. geezz

isnt that a cutie??? :D :D look at that rat!! LOL. I love to own a Pomeranian pup and would love him to call me his mommy!!

I book flights every night (literally). And for a hundred and thousand times, I remind customers to be at the airport earlier prior to their departure flight, I relay baggage infos and cancel and change flights in just like 5 minutes! Truth is, I havent been on a flight before and I would love to see my name on a boarding pass... to make it coo, in an international flight!haha

I want this. Thats all

mike is excited

to go to military :)

i dont know how is it gunna be like for the two of us. but i know i should be happy for him. he always mentions it and i know he really likes to join... hope he made the right decision. God bless us!!

When you sleep with a broken heart, Waking up is the hardest part...