I have an online friend I met years ago and I still keep him on my contact list. Though we dont talk alot online, there are times that I guess he felt bored and would pm me. There will also times when i take that opportunity to make myself occupied when Im online and got nothing to do. I pretty much know some things bout his life since he was a talker and I admit there are moments that I find his story interesting but forgive my honesty, I get bored having long talks with him. Anyways, just recently we had a talked and while listening to him, I found myself having the same dilemma. He wanted to get away. He wanted to have a life separate from the life he had known. In other words, he wants to escape. Okay, to make it more understandable, he was about to get married but he needs to go somewhere for school but her fiance broke off the engagement. He always tell me not to give everything to a person unless you are married. And from listening to him, I believe how deeply hurt he has been and how empty he might have felt for not leaving anything for himself. Now she's gone, he just wants to escape. I was then thinking bout his shattered plans and unfulfilled dreams... Then I realize how broken is he.
I dont want to consider myself broken... not yet. I know there's more life can offer but im scared like hell to see myself broken in pieces and the bad thing is that, i always see it coming. Sometimes, I feel like im heading that way and loneliness sets in. I get tired of loneliness but it seems like it wont leave me alone...
So yeah, I got him. He wants to live somewhere far where nobody knows him. Exactly what I want to do. I want to be far away start something new and finally find my happy place here on earth. Its not that I loathe my family, I just felt like i needed to start again and i have to find my own happiness. ---
I found this post not finished as of Janury 29 2012... so im posting this.. I deactivated my yahoo email address but this is his BLOG . Anyweiz, I find this unposted blog amazing because it was written right before he set his journey to cycle china-russia. looks like someone is doing something to fulfill their dreams. Now after 2 years from the date of this post, he definitely made it and im still on the same spot. i got inspired and im real happy for him. really awesome. I wish i can say HI to him again. real awesome guy!
