its a very rainy start of the year and i wonder what the rain means ... i hope it means blessings :) been trying to be strong here on my own without depending my emotion to the existence of mike. he's gone forever and i should remember that and pray for the better. im kind of angry because i feel like im at fault. Im so tired with all these fuck up emotions that this has caused me. I feel so lost wanting him in my life so bad and wanting to just start all over again.. alone. im kind of confuse. I know it takes time and it cant happen overnight. I just have to stick to my decision and help myself as to what and where i should wanna go.. i just needed to be strong....