dear mike,
i thought about the convesation we had and i think that you might be right about breaking up. It’s the last thing i wanna do because i love u so much. But its time for me to stop being so idealistic and just face the truth. You made me the happiest when you returned your love to me, you showed me hope that someday we can go through all these and be together, and of course you get me all worried to death when u were sick. But now i guess its time to let you go so that you wont be pressured and so that u wont need to worry about keeping ur word to anyone. I want u to enjoy your life. I understand that its very hard for you to go out of your convictions and from what you believe in. And even when it hurts, I have to respect it. I realized that I have no right to impose anything on you. I'm sorry if I sounded too desperate because I'm just soo vulnerable about this whole thing. For 6 years, im so scared of losing you but one way or the other, eventually I have to face it it all alone because we're not on the same page anymore. I just cant find any reasons to hold on because you're not giving me any reasons at all anymore. You meant everything to me and I know I may not mean that much to you. But don't worry because I'm not going to kill myself or do something stupid, I just wish i would but i wont. I believe you're not worth it if I do something crazy. I hope you could live a meaning life ahead and I will always hope all the best for you. And even though the thought makes me cringe, I hope you could find someone you can genuinely love as I would pray that someday I would learn to trust with myself again about love and hopefully in God's mercy I could find someone again that I could love just as I love you.
If you need a friend I hope you could remember me as one. You know I'd love to listen to you. I'm just an email (as always) away and I hope I can count on you as well. After all, we started out as friends. I wish we could find our ways to forgiveness. Im never gunna give up on you, Im just letting us go because we both know we deserve more than this.
Just promise me you will take care of yourself.
I'll always think about you,
