it felt like a tug... whether to write or not to write. To start, or not to start...
Chris and I went to Ayala and never did i thought that I am goin to lose my 4 year old school ID! I persuade him not to come to Philo class. haha. im bad like that.
together with my lost Id is the lost hope that I could still retrieve it. You know, when u lose something that's been a part of you, something in you is lost too. There's a piece of you that is lost, no matter how cheap or expensive that thing is. I value my ID. It's a small card but its a BIG part of my being a college girl. Maybe in my case, I will lose those moments that i used to sling my Id around my neck. For four years of wearing and not wearing my ID, it finally came to a stop. It's actually abrupt. how can i go to school without my ID?! its kind of ridiculous.
Right now, Im here in school and just killing the time away. I hate it when im all alone because alot of thoughts will just come running on my mind... and sometimes, they come to me.. invading my thoughts and making me look back to things that makes me sad, makes me wonder or those kind of things that just worry me to death!
This morning on my way to school, father was unusually silent the whole time. Silence kills. I wanna cry.. but i was telling myself how pathetic that could be. But also within me, is the unexplained connection that's been telling my mind and heart that something is wrong with papa. I know he is in pain. I think bout his health and how i worry about it. His stomach is in pain and he never wanted to see a doctor. I part of me wanted to suggest and urge him to see one right away, but a part of me doesnt wanna know the truth. Ignorant.
I love him soo much and he's been through alot already especially these past months. I hope that God will always protect him and guide him. I dont know what to do without my papa :(
