Tuesday, May 31, 2011

March 7 2009 post

If there’s one person that I wanna thank right now, it would be my dad. I remember my childhood; I wasn’t that close to him. But, he has always been my favorite even then. I felt like I was a nobody to him. Being the second child in the family, I was in a state wherein I bring no recognition and pride to the family. I felt like I didn’t exist because I was too plain to get the recognition that I wanted. The fact is, my sister was an achiever. She gets to be schooled at a good school while I was the opposite, despite of that I remain to be flaccid. I’ve seen my father worked hard for our family. I’ve seen him not seeing me at all. I’ve learned to give way to my younger siblings. I also learned not getting what I want. Growing up with a big family contributed a lot to what and who I am right now.

But despite of the crowd, I learned to bottle up feelings inside because I cannot find someone whom I could talk to. I had a big family but that was it. I was so weak then.

I grew up seeing my father as a happy person. He always pulls out a joke that will always burst everyone laughing. He is God fearing and gentle in many ways. I admire him so much, and just couldn’t help but be grateful for having him as my father. I love him even though he doesn’t see me. I love him even though there are times that he doubts my capabilities. I love him even though he once yelled at me telling me im “BULOK”. But, I always believe that he is someone more than those. Seeing my father, I wonder if he could also be someone whom I can talk to. And so, I cling with that hope because maybe someday, God will give us a chance to talk. Maybe someday he would also be proud of me.

So they say that when you come of age, you will be able to understand things more. Now that I opened up my eyes to the real world, I was able to understand and was able to clear my thoughts from the grim things I used to assume about my father not liking me. I used to doubt his love for me as a daughter but now that we’re older, I realized how he loves all of us. Having gone through a lot of trials, he was the one who never left us. In those times, he showed us that his love for us in unconditional. I might prohibit myself to expose the trials we’ve been through but it is in those times that I was able to say to myself that my father was a person who knows how to love. He is a person who knows how to sacrifice. He is a person who transcends from being selfish. He knows when to let go, he knows when to fight. He cried, he accepts defeat, but he is buoyant… he lives on.

And because of that, he became a big part of me. I want his ways to be my guide in times of confusions. I want to be a good person because of him. I want to love someone like the way he loves my mom and us.

There are a million of things to say bout him.. but at this point in my life, I wanted to thank him. I LOVE YOU PA!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

its raining.. i feel so helpless and alone.. Gosh, its killing me

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Malata or Di Malata

Now there's a new craze in town. I can see tarpaulins everywhere and everybody is actually (unbelievably) talking about it! I don't need to adorn its new existence all over the city, but yes, its the Cebu City's new implementation of No Segregation, No Collection Policy for the trashes.

I think this is not something new to all of us; I mean at least for myself, I remember so well way back in grade school that we were (of course) taught of how to determine biodegradable from non biodegradable. Its not rocket science for the majority because this is being taught to small children at school. The thing with that is, we know about all these stuff, but we are always passive and we decline to go the extra mile to segregate our garbage. We have the education, and we certainly have the idea as to why there's a need to segregate but we choose not to do anything about it. We just don't give a shit about it. It would've made me feel guilty, but hey, no one does that anyways. Like, honestly, I never knew of anyone before (the strict compliance of the ordinance) who segregates their garbage. This is definitely not included in our lifestyle.

Now that we are forced to segregate our trash, it may sound so easy to determine which is malata or di malata, but trust me, even the smartest guy will need the time to deliberate things to trash out. I for once, now that I'm renting a place still finds it hard to stuff "malata and di malata" in my system and I very badly ends up leaving my trash alone; hence my house mate is compelled to do the painstaking task of segregating the garbage which i believe she loathes. (haha) But hey, Im doing my best. I think I need to buy a second trash bin for the "malata" inside our room. One comment I heard from my co worker which is kind of funny to me is the fact that he can't sleep thinking about which should be for malata and di malata. LOL. On the other hand, the local government needs to ensure that the waste are properly dispose and whatever they need to do with it.

I heard from some news that there are barangays who are struggling to keep up with this new policy. But I totally don't blame them because I myself is having a hard time doing so. Information dissemination is very important and cooperation is as equally important too. Aside from the tarpaulins, the local barangays also distributed leaflets to every home.


this leaflet informs the people the schedule, the to do's and not to
do's and
categories under "malata" and "di malata"


We Cebuanos are smart and we are a bunch of people who wants nothing but improvement in the society that we live in. We sure do love to live in a better, more improved Cebu; some place where we can really be proud of. What we lack of is definitely the action, and we lack a push from our local government before. Kudos to our Mayor Mike Rama for the strict implementation. With all the tarps I am seeing on every barangay and corners all over the city, I think it's fair enough to say that the local government is friggin serious with this city ordinance.This may be hard at first for all of us, but I think we're on the right track. I am confident that this implementation will definitely help a lot to our endeavor in improving our waste management and I fully support this step for Mother Nature.

And now, im left with this unending mantra inside my head, "Malata or Di Malata?"

Sunday, April 3, 2011

how to see the light in the dark

how to see the light in the dark remains to be a mystery to me. i feel like, its something really impossible. now that i got mike back and promised God of some stuff, now im back on my knees again. i've reached the red bar again and im running out of strength. i'd like to to think that my heart is stronger but each passing minute sends bullet into my chest. i felt like i died a thousand times. my mind says i have to be thankful that he'd given me the chance, but my heart questioned this chance. my mind says its okay coz i tried, but my heart is stabbed a million times. my mind says to move on but my heart weeps and dont want to beat again. my mind says to focus on my family and friends but my heart searched for him. tell me god pls if its a NO. give me a sign..

my own movie review of 3 Idiots- but not really!

Back in college, writing is a task. You have to scribble down words and make sense out of them because you are obliged to do so. Im happy it ended. But now, I feel like writing about this movie I watched with my friends.

Well, first off, it was a good decision to not go with my high school friends in an overnight swimming because if i did, I would have pass the chance to be with my family and enjoy my sister's recognition day. We decided to have a simple family get together in Naga Park. We brought table and chairs and we just sit, laugh, eat under the night sky and enjoy this very precious family moment. This is one simple pleasure in life that I really appreciate--looking out into an endless sea with the sparkling reflection of the myriad stars in the night as if they have fallen from the sky but they just couldn't stop shining even in the waters. I on the other hand, fell asleep. It felt good, sleeping outside, feeling the night breeze kissing my skin yet you get the feeling that you are safe.



Im glad my sister disrupted me. I hate interruptions but this is one of the few instances when I didn't mind at all. She decided to go out with her friends and I decided (for the last minute) to catch up with the Carebears :)


Lee's spaghetti is really good! We spent the night at Jillan's place (Jrams boyf) while he was away for Bantayan Island. Of course, we fill the night with laughter and just goofing around like mad girls. Lee and her daughter decided to go up and call it a day while Des, Jrams and I stayed awake. Jrams had fallen asleep (i'd like to think so) while Des and I were both fighting the need to sleep because we're eager to watch 3 Idiots.


I watch movies to kill the time; to ease boredom. I recall my brothers downloading this movie at home but I could care less. I, at the back of my mind wanted to watch it, but so as just to kill the time when boredom strikes. I watched an Indian Movie before. I concluded, it was a good one but realized how the poverty in India causes me nothing but sadness about something that I can't do anything about. There's this one Indian guy at work. I admire his wit and humor. I remember him saying something about the Slumdog Millionaire movie (which was a blockbuster hit) and how it unfairly depicted India in the world. He said, India is not like that at all; he never liked the movie. Well, I should agree with him because he at the end is an Indian himself and I wouldn't bother wasting my time defending why he should like the movie. It provokes a thought inside my head that, like Philippines, India has two faces and it is not right to see her as something filthy. In fact, they are rich in culture and they are peopled with such great talents.

A movie. It's a story; mostly fiction. It entertains. A mediocre movie helps you kill the time. But the best movie will not only kill your time but also would have the ability to bring your soul to a place where you've never been before but will still manage to touch your heart because your heart feels the familiarity; the connection. It should have the ability to transcend you from your current state and bring you somewhere else.

3 Idiots is one of the few movies that moved me. I am awed at how the movie was perfectly weaved with such a gentle clarity, cunning yet humorous script, great and breathtaking cinematography, not to mention the universal morals, the rich Indian culture and the smart ability to raise social consciousness. I am not a license critic but I'm sure is a movie watcher, and I find the movie perfect!

I noticed that the movie has dancing and singing; I barely see this component in American or Western movies. I enjoyed the sing-dance part of the movie because; first of all, they never happen in real life. It's very unrealistic and it brought me somewhere else new; it successfully helped me escaped reality. I sure appreciate how the movie managed to clash the world of Engineering and Medicine (the scene where the engineering students helped out Mona deliver her baby and the use of Engineering skills to do it). The clashing of the two worlds is insane but beautiful.

Though the characters and the movie itself picked engineering as the center of the theme, it does tells us more about the profession. I think it's not even about engineering at all. The movie is about you chasing your own personal dreams and living up with the people's expectations. It's no easy task; this simple fact does not happen in India only but i think this is something universal. This happens to rich kids belonging to affluent families and this also happens to average people from average families as this also happens to people who are in poverty. It happens to all of us. It is in short, how you live your life by perhaps meeting the demand of others, or how we choose to jump on the bandwagon, or if we're fearless enough to defy them and stand by our dreams-- with two feet standing tall and clenched hands with so much passion and conviction. It's about using your lifetime wisely by letting your loved ones know what is in your heart and how little we could afford regret to come in to our life. It is about believing in your self; coming out of your nutshell and saying to yourself that, "all is well".

Aside from this very humanistic dilemma, the movie also has created a perfect image of friendship. The very core of our living is friendship. It is a very powerful bond made out of love, trust, and commitment to stand by these people we are friends with. They are the push when we feel like going down, but they are also these people who we can be crazy with. You can be friends with your family, lover, and to people you share the same ideals with-- well actually anyone (except those of course, you don't want to associate with) because there's really no standard gauge on how to set this people up in your life and how well you can keep them.

I certainly love the picturesque side of India. It captivates me!

Aside from the fact that I cried more than once, I also can't count how many times the movie has made me laugh my heart out. It's witty and plainly humorous. I'm amazed as to how they transition a happy scene to a moving one and vice versa. It makes you laugh at one point and the next you're already crying!

How could one capture all of them in one movie; I wouldn't know. But, im lucky that this movie had reached me. For the first time, I didn't watch a movie to kill the time, or maybe it killed the time... but it was a nice kill :)