Death makes me feel
uncomfortable. It is an unexplainable realm beyond words, space and time. I
admit that whenever I watch the (local) news, the word death or being killed doesn’t
mean anything to me anymore but a mere statistics of the consequences of living
in Metro Manila.
But there will be a
time when death will look at you straight in the eye. And it will appear to be
something very frightful that it takes away your peaceful nights into an
unending awful day dreaming and restless turning and tossing in bed. It is
again because, I personally fear death because I don’t understand what it means
to the person who departed especially if these people meant something to me in
the past or present. I fear death because of the pain of knowing that anytime
in this life, God can take away your loved ones.
I look at it in
different ways and even when I write down all these, I still can’t understand
its mystery. So they say that death is inevitable. It will happen to all of us.
It is a part of life though it sounds pretty ironic to me.
We do good things
to other people and to our loved ones, we build fun, loving and lasting
memories with them, yet anytime they can be gone. I guess, my being selfish of
being left behind is talking in this blog. Yes, today, I want to talk about me
being selfish. I can’t talk about what it means to be dead because I am not
dead yet and I cant probably blog anymore if that’s the case. I am definitely talking
about the living. The pains and confusion that we will have to go through if
someone we love will depart. Or the crisp bitterness of the word, “regret”. I
am knocking on wood right now but I already programmed my mind that it will
happen in the future. To you or to me. To anybody. Anytime.
But even when death
is something that is certain, I want to remind myself that we have to continue to
live and be a better version of ourselves every day. If we don’t have any
choice about death, then I might as well cherish every waking moments of my
life, learn from my mistakes and always see God in everything that I do. Let us
enjoy life while we still can.
But for now, I want
to say that I felt bad about a friend who passed away. She is definitely an
angel. Again, another friend whom I think is perfect in my eyes went to Heaven.
I am still feeling so bad but I have to accept her being gone. She is now an
angel watching over her kids. May she rest in peace.
