i spent the night with chena and bing, and i honestly am happy being with them. I am most of myself when I dance :D:D we had a fun time at cabanas and we're just dancin and singing our hearts out. I love it when I forget my worries and anxieties. I love it!
on the other hand, im also sad because Mike wont talk to me anymore. Its all my fault I guess. God knows how much I wanted him to stay and the thought of him leaving me shatters the whole of me... oh gosh i hope i can stop the tears in my eyes.. i just had a fuckin good time awhile ago and now im feeling so empty and crushed because I know Mike will leave me. He will and I blame myself for not being a good girlfriend to him...
wish i was alot better, more understanding, more caring, more attentive... its so painful i'll see it coming. He is leaving me :(
i hate myself. i hate myself.. i hate ME!!!!!!!!
