Im just saddened about what happened this morning. My mom scolded me because im too lazy and she said I just kept on facing the comp the whole time. I know she doesnt want me to be a bum coz you see I dont have work right now. I quit. And being a person that I am, I dont talk back even though I was really about to. I just cant let those words out of my mouth and it cripples me so I just cry. Well, I just woke up and she's cleaning the fridge, why would she let me do the work for her. And, Im at the comp the whole time because I stay up at night and for the record, I've been up at night for almost a year now and its hard for me to adjust! Its fuckin hard. Why cant she just let me do the chores a little after i wake up? I know im being a hassle coz im useless coz I dont have work but I deserve to have a break and she shouldnt nag coz its annoying and its killing me... I actually decided to just go away and stay at Chena's place but she actually pacified me and it helped alot :):)
Well she is always been a big sister to me though the idea of moving to her place for a week might not be too appealing. So i've been crying like crazy on my bed coz i felt like my mom doesnt understand me and I never even got the chance to say bye-bye to my sister who was on her way to Manila :(
Anyway, my mom got home with a Shi Tzu puppy for me!!!! and im soo happy like this ^_________^
"When mistrust comes in, love goes out..."
I know Mike dont want to lose me. But we always have some trust issues and sometimes, im tired of being doubted by him. Im tired of him scrutinizing my sincerity. Im so tired of earning his trust and Im almost giving up. Sometimes, it causes self destruction and it makes me feel im not trustworthy at all. Im so fuckin hurt its ripping my heart out but i should know that if it hurts me, it must have hurt him more :( why cant we keep things simple? *sigh
i wish i can make things right for him or i wish i can just walk away :(:(
