its a disease. a state of mind. it best defines me. i cant seem to move from where i am right now. i cant seem to leave mike behind even when he always suggest it to me. Is it because i unconditionally love him or is it more because im afraid i would end up being alone. i cant seem to move my butt and leave ps because im scared of going beyond my comfort zone.. with all the familiarities and shit like that. sometimes im so eager to try out, to be independent and to be the person i always see myself of becoming. But the "lack of option" part is really eating me inside out.
mike always tell me that were not gunna work. And whatever will happen to us in the future, the credits will be all on me. I know from the moment i asked him to stay, its my responsibility if i get hurt. I know i cant blame him for he has been very frank to me since December. I dont want to give up on us because i live for our dreams and its just so sad because i also have a hard time convincing myself now. i know its bleak and we dont have anywhere to go to because i am not that girl. im not :(
