Why is it that just when I wanted to be honest, I had the tendency to utter the opposite thing?
Why is it that even if im reminded with the truth, i lied to myself and make believe of things that are not really happening?
Why is it im still not used of the pain when i've been with this for four years?
I aint a philosopher and I dont have the answers to these. Human as I am, to the farthest of my knowledge, I see myself vulnerable as to why things dont go on my own way. And then i think that Im a victim of life's myriad jokes thrown at me. And most of the time, im caught off guard, leaving me defenseless. There are also times when i just cant learn from my mistakes or im just plainly stupid or something.
I tried to understand the things around me, but it takes alot of courage to admit that even if i seem to understand things, i am still someone who is assialable to the tides and susceptible to the pains that life brings. I will never get used to it... it'll never come anyway
so, in a very odd way, i celebrate my pain... through collected lamentations.
