crap bullshit fukcccc

I've been keeping it all inside. Im nothing but a mess. i have nothing left at all. i wanted to tell him that im angry, im mad im feeling helpless. I feel used by mike. i feel like he just used me when he needed someone for him and now that he's got a new life, new everything and starting anew, he doesnt want to deal with this shit. i hope he will not find happiness, i hope that i shudnt have loved him so that i wont need to be hurt like this. i feel so much in pain that i just cry in the middle of something because sometimes i feel like i cant take it anymore but i need to act like im strong, that i dont love him this much and that im cool with everything. it sucks knowing him. i regret everything and i hope i'd be over him and start a new life and stop being bitter and will hope that someday i'll meet him again and he'll be back in hell.. stupid me.. stupid me