Saturday, November 7, 2009

what's up...

its been a while since i put something in here. God blesses REST DAYS! A week with my new team mates is done and over. Work is stressing me alot and i know im not alone on that. Im planning to quit since i cant hit the metrics and its giving me nothing but heart aches and frustration. lol Im a quitter yeah but that also means im up to opportunities. I thank God for the blessing and the guidance that for all these months since i graduate, He never ceased to guide me and the beautiful things that had happened to me, i owe Him pretty much a big time :)


MIKE. I almost lost him this week because of the facebook thing. Pete told him that im having a relationship to another man as what is stated on my facebook. Well i was in a pretty bad shaped last week because i just think i cant lose Mike over a petty issue. I dont wanna lose him because of a stupid joke. I cant lose him over a psuedo-fb account that Mitch and I made for Jay. The thought of it is pretty hilarious because Mitch and I knew Jay and what kind of person he is. We 3 are just soo close and tightly bonded with each other that we can just joke around like that. I didnt know Pete will look at it as it is. (of course, i wont expect him to understand right away that that was just a facebook that every people in the team can access). So yeah, how can i describe it? its really aweful. I just cant simply accept losing someone i value so much over a stupid joke. (not even a percent of it was true which makes it more aweful) i just cant trade my relationship like that. there even wasnt any trade done. So yeah, lesson learned, should joke in the right place and the right time. So, i dont have facebook right now and i havent told him yet that even if i deactivate my account in facebook, i still can log in anytime i wanted whenever i log in and use my password and username because unfortunately, that's how facebook works.




Posted by at

Friday, October 23, 2009

sad ako

i even dont know what to say. i dont know what matters most in my life right now. I dont know which step to take...

im supposedly in my bed right now snatching every second of sweet slumber that i could get. Instead, myriad of things (which in today's case; bad things) dawned on me. I miss the kissing teddy bears Mike gave me :( I felt so bad because its a memory in the form of something that i thought that will last forever with me. I dont really know where is it right now. Its been missing for the past months and i dont have the guts to tell Mike that i lost it in my own bed. Can u believe that. I treasure it the most more than anything else that i always sleep beside it. I think my brother gave it to his girlfriend. geez what a shame "jack-assy" move. and now its making me simply sad :( :(

Secondly, i know i should be wiser when it comes to dealing money. I've never save anything and im even running out of it! I know for sure that im goin back to school next year to take up more education units and from there im goin to look for more options with life...

hahayz.. sadness just creeps in plus im so pressured for tonight's QA like i need to get 94% to pass QA. If God permits, it would be my highest QA by far. oh gosh things are a little harder for me right now :(

Posted by at

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

my friends and I

we chill at Bo's... trying to catch up on things and i found myself not having much to talk to with friends since nothing BIG has changed since graduation. lol (and i believe that was Arah on the fone)



...and Lynne brought us to the BAR. whew, i was still "culture shocked". im a 21 year old girl who never go to bars.. i can just count the instances with my fingers! nonetheless, it was great when you are with friends (too bad Bing wasnt able to come with us because she had a national exam on the next day.. LET)

so far i can just post 2 pics coz im not vain like that anymore. Just a little memory i can put on my blog :)
anyway, for more pics visit my facebook account or CLICK HERE.

Posted by at

i needed to decide

i know im being a pain in the ass. and i know im gunna get anything good for my birthday. i know i just lost mike...

I know that he did all his best to make us work and there's no question to that. I ended up hating myself more because i wasn't able to understand him when i should've given it to him. And now i know im losing him.

I've been very hurt not because he loves me less but because i kept on thinking bad things about him and us. I am hurt because everyday, reminds me of not being with him. I get crazy without hearing anything from him because i know i might lose him anytime and i might not be there for him. I love him so much that it hurts me. i love him so much that it hurts him so bad. I wanna love him without being too scared to death. I wanna love him without having to leash him on the neck. I wanna love him without being hurt and i know its impossible. I wish i'd been more understanding. I wish i'd been more trusting. I wish i'd been better.

I wanted to die but there's also a part of me that wanted to be strong. I wanted to be better if ever he is not gunna talk to me again. I'd wanted to tell him how lucky i was with him before i could let him slip away...

oh gosh, i didnt know it'll hurt like this. it feels like my world is crashing down :( :( i dont even know if i should continue to hold on or just let him slip forever....
Posted by at

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

typhoon Ondoy

then this tragedy painfully etched something in my heart :( im very much devastated. I wanted to be thankful that it didnt hit Cebu but even that fact didnt compensate the pain in my heart seeing people suffer... having to imagine the great loss, not just for their properties but for their loved ones. I cant bear the thought of starting all over again... of seeing everything wrecked and all in mud. Of not knowing where to start... of being strong enough not to lose the hope...

it made me realize that my problems are nothing compared to those people who were hit by the typhoon. And there are alot of reasons for us to celebrate life amidst this tragedy if only we are brave enough to put all of these in a positive stride.

I saw the brotherhood and willingness of fellow Filipinos to help. The donations are overwhelming and it somehow soothe this wounded heart of mine. I pray to God that we can all recover and will treat this tragedy as a test to each of our faith... i know its easier said than done... but i wanted to keep it that way...





Posted by at

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

wednesday

Nothing really special but i miss blogging. I should blog the last time Force Majuere went out. That was last Saturday. It was all cool and fun. We ate at a buffet place and food was okay. After dinner, we hang out at Maxim and there we drink. Mitch, Sup and Ralf decided to get tequilla while i settle for Gilbeys. What's cool about the place is that, its not crowded and i love the dim light. Its just cozy and best thing is the acoustic singer to give life at that bar.

here are some pics!
This is with Mitch! This girl loves tequilla. lol.. ALOT!

That is me...



... and i started singing. (im not drunk, i just felt like singing at that time:) and due to demand as well) haha







CRAZY FOR YOU (me being crazy!)

After we hit maxim, we went to YO.U at Mango and there Sup, Ralph and Mitch getting drunk. They are not bad when they're drunk which is a good thing. They dont look like drunk at all.. which is very very cool. I dont need to drag anyone because they are very responsible and yeah, im with people who are older than me. Its so nice being with them since Mitch, Sup and I are in a long distance relationship and we kinda understand each other. They are all very mature too. One thing i learned that night was that, Ralf is really married. Whoah, good for him. LOL

All in all, i love that day even if i dont have enough sleep. Its worth it. One thing that made it fun is because my enemy MARK CABANLIT aka ELIJAH! was there! haha..


well anyway, im gunna go to sleep now. im so tired from work and I know mike wont send me an email :(
but i wish he would :( :(
Posted by at

Sunday, September 13, 2009

my future plans

I feel like gettin a year of experience at BPO. I was really hoping that I get to be regularized. Now i know what i want. I wanna save money to buy laptop. Then after that, Im gunna save for my education. I wanted to get more education units. so like after a year, i wanna work in a preschool or kindergarten and at the same time, i hope i can go to school. I wanna be independent and most of all, i want to reach my ultimate dream. To live my life on my own in a foreign place. I dont know how its gunna be like but its all i really really wanted. I hope God will always be with me.

And i know, i have to come up with a future on my own coz Mike also needs time to stabilized. He wanted to go to Airforce and he needs ample of time to finish school, not to mention he wanted to take medicine after engineering. I know he really wanted it. So, i'd be very much happy to see him fulfill his dreams as well.

I just hope someday, we can both reach our dreams together. One of my dreams is to be with him and i know, it will come true. Im just so positive about it! Goodluck to me! I know there are alot of reasons to feel lucky about. I have my family, I have Mike whom i know loves me so much even if were too far from each other and onbe lucky fact is that I have a job. I know i dont give something back to my parents but im not asking them money for months now :) When i got alot of money, I wont ever forget to help them.

So now, I think im goin to treat myself for a homely beauty regemen since Mike cant come online. I wont get mad but im a little disappointed. lol.

Posted by at
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)