uhh

I admit it, i know nothing bout love and how it works when you're in a relationship. It is because i havent encountered alot of relationships and the few ones i've had in the past were nothing but simple infatuations. I woke up in "love" with my first boyfriend. Well i it felt so good having someone to knock on my door and drop by to see me. Its a nice feeling but it wasnt that lasting. I know now how immature our relationship was but it wasnt seen because we were both very young and very fond of that "love". We do things because were in love, we fight for the sake of quarreling.. LQ they say. But i would be a bitch if i wont admit that i was also hurt by that time. But never did i shed a single tear for that guy. Yes it was painful breaking up with him and i thought it was the worst... Then i realize, there will always be a tomorrow to fill in my days with so many superlatives... there will always be a better day coming.. a better feeling.. or could be the worst. I met a few guys but never had a relationship with them. one thing is, im a very insecure person

being in a relationship wit mike is something BIG for me. Though ours is a bit different, i was able to see the vast difference between us. How we came to be the exact opposite to one another. He is a very experienced person. He knows alot of things and is very outgoing while im someone who needs all the forces in this world just to get out of my own shell. He taught me that we are two different people with different opinions, he made me realuize that we dont need to be alike to be in love. He live in a society where everything is casual including sex. He is experienced on that while im at the very pit of innocence. Regardless of our differences, it is amazing how we get to stay wit each other. What is more amazing is that, we survive the test of time and the temptations, the doubts.. and we accepted each other's shortcomings and mistakes. In the truest essence of the word, I love him and im sure of that. He was always there to teach me things, he is my friend, he always listens and see me as someone very imporant despite of the distance. He finds time for me and most of all, he is able to bear with me even if there are times i behave like a child.. very immature. But i admit it, i've grown and seen my self and my own stand in our relationship though it would still take alot of time for me to reach where he is right now. i wanna be a better and more mature person And i wanna work it out with him. Its just that, sometimes im so selfish that i wanted all his time just for me; which is very impossible. yeah im working on that.. i am i am...

but i know, of all the wrong people in this world.. he walked. and i know he is thr right man for me.

i miss him so much and last night i hurt him. just that i dont like it when he let me wait for nothing.. i miss him so much

the faster pace

i cant believe how everything could happen all at once. For the past month (literally it was a month), i've been idle. I got bored to death, got nothing to do,i felt so useless and just.. immobile. But now, its gunna change as i will enter the real world. REAL WORD they say... workforce, time, pressure, and pay! I got a work now. Well, its gunna be something very new to me, coz that would mean being an ASSet to the company and they would expect me to be giving out my best shot in every possible way. That gives me chills but I know i got wut it takes to be in this position. Just hope i'd be more confident with myself. Whatever that is, I know i have to prove it to myself that i've grown now and is equipt to face the larger world. But really, i am so grateful to God that i found a place to work now. I'd try my best to love and enjoy every moment of it :)

Im so tired now coz its been a long day for me...


and for the first time... i drove!! weee! its scary but i know i'd get used to it the soonest!

gotta go now

5 mins!

1. When you cry does anybody know?

` nope. just me and God :) haha

.

2. When you love, do you give your all?

` yeah but im happy though

.

3. Given the chance to be in front of your most recent ex, what would you say?

` none

.

4. What's one thing that you learned from those failed relationships?

` none really. past relationships were like years ago.. i was still young and didnt feel wuts love really is

.

5. What is the most important thing in a relationship?

` TRUST!!!

.

6. Is it normal to become jealous of someone?

` yeahhh

.

7. When you come across your ex with his/her gf/bf what would you do?

` none really. smile?

.

8. Does looks matter when choosing a bf/gf?

` yeahh i think..

.

9. What is a must in a gf/bf?

` loyal

.

10. What if a friend tells you that he/she loves your bf/gf, what are you going to do?

` i wud tell her, "same here, i love my bf too!" haha

.

11. What if you fell in love with a person that had a baby in the past, would you still love that person?

` of course. when u love someone, shud be unconditional

.

12. With all the heartaches, sacrifices and pain of loving, is it all worth it?

` i believe it is

.

13.Do u find ur ex's new gf/bf good looking

` no. lol

.

14. Who was the FIRST person to text you today?

` my twin. hehe

.

15. How do you learn to forget?

` sleep

.

16. What makes you mad?

` when i feel rejected

.

17. Do you love someone right now?

` soo much!

.

18. What time are you gonna sleep?

` late at nights

.

19. Status?

` married. lol

.

20. Do you ever wish you could just disappear?

` sometimes when its too painful to handle

.

21. Is loving worth fighting for?

` YES!

.

22. Why do you say so?

` coz that's wut im doin right now

.

23. Favorite cake?

` chocolate

.

24. Do you still love ur ex?

` nope, i only love one person my whole life

.

25. Are you ok?

` yeah im a bit nervous though

.

26. Are you hurting inside?

` yeah some personal reasons

.

27. Are you contented?

` not yet. no work. lol

.

28. In 3 months, do you think you will be in a relationship?

` still wit him

.

29. What if the person you love, loves somebody else? What would you do?

` cry!!!!!!!!!!!

.

30. Do you consider yourself a martyr?

` idk!

.

31. Do you miss the way things used to be?

` yeah of course

.

32. Do you like hugs?

` yeah its okay :)

.

33. When was the last time you went shopping?

` last month

.

34. What's the last thing you ate?

` macaroni

.

35. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?

` nope.

.

36. It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings?

` yeah?

.

37. What do you think of people who smoke?

` dragons!

.

38. What do you currently hear right now?

` advertisements

.

39. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?

` nope. hehe and it didnt hurt. lol

.

40. Has anyone ever told you, you have pretty eyes?

` idk. maybe! i think so! haha

Reason, Season and Lifetime

..

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

..

When someone is in your life for a REASON,

it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty,

or to provide you with guidance and support,

to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

...

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

...

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.

Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

...

When people come into your life for a SEASON,

it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,

the season eventually ends.

...

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being part of my life.

being strong

i was reading through my old blog entries before and i noticed how i always say that i am weak. Now i realized that, after all these years, i know ive been strong for myself, for my relationship with him and to my family and friends. Ive past college life with so much emotions and a little bitterness but i would always look at it now as something to be very beautiful. I am very blessed to get to college, having to meet new friends for life and for the opportunity and the support that my parents had given me especially to my dad. I really want to give back as soon as possible and i want him to be proud of me...

as for my relationshp with mike, i always attempt to end our relationship for the past years but still, im soo annoying and desperately pushing myself to him. i dont know... i always hate him and the situation but this is what i want. to be with him and just with him. how could i get so complicated??

one boring night

1) Are you talking to anyone on an IM service right now? If so who?

--- yeah. mike

.

2) Would you love to go on holiday tomorrow?

--- yeah why not. but im probably staying at home tomorrow. whoah.. almost a week of not coming out of the house!

.

3) If so where would you go?

--- mcdonalds. eat ice cream

.

4) Do you drink hot drinks often?

--- not really

.

5) What's one of your teddies/old teddies names?

--- drew 08. a small teddy

.

6) When was the last time you took pain killers?

--- when i had a headache for like 2 damn weeks on our finals, 2 semesters ago

.

7) Have you ever been scared of the dark?

--- yeah im still afraid of the dark, i just dont admit it now

.

8) Would you ever dye your hair an abnormal colour?

--- i wont. wut people thinks of me is important

.

9) Do you have a fringe? If not would you like one?

--- wut is a fringe?

.

10) Do you have a lot of money in the bank?

--- i dont have any money yet. soon! hehe

.

11) Do you have a favorite mug? What does it have on it?

--- no mug

.

12) What shape was your last birthday cake?

--- never had a birthday cake.. or i dont remember anymore

.

13) Do you have plans for tomorrow? If so what?

--- no.. i'll just stay at home and be sad all day

.

14) If you had to have braces what color would you have?

--- i dont put much thought bout it

.

15) Do you watch a lot of reality t.v?

--- now i do. abs-cbn ra jud

.

16) When was the last time you went to the cinema?

--- last january with my family

.

17) What was the last newspaper you read>

--- about ted failon :(

.

18) Have you ever owned any pets that could belong on a farm?

--- nope

.

19) Do you have one or more trees in your garden?

--- we dont even have a garden

.

20) Do you own any checkered shirts?

--- wala. dress lang

.

21) What was the last mode of public transport you rode on?

--- jeep-multicab

.

22) How many beds have you had?

--- just one

.

23) Would you ever cut all your hair off to raise money for charity?

--- maybe

.

24) Do you say bless you when someone sneezes?

--- i dont. wa man na sa amo

.

25) Even if you don't know who it is?

--- i dont care really, i mean di ko mangi-alam. hehe

.

26) Do you watch music videos on Youtube?

--- not really

.

27) Do you eat the slice of lemons you get in drinks?

--- i tried but it wasnt good

.

28) Who was the last person to call you baby/babe?

--- mike :(

.

29) Has anyone ever sang to you?

--- nope

************************

1) Do you plan on falling in love this year?

--- yeah with the same person for the last 4 years

.

2) Have you spoken to your mother today?

--- nope. long distance relationship. hehe

.

3) Who was the last person you cried in front of?

--- none. i dont let them see me cry.

.

4) What woke you up this morning?

--- my sister knocking the door

.

5) Could you ever be friends with someone who hurt you badly?

--- if im over it.

.

6) Who did you text first this morning?

--- my father

.

7) Are there any saved birthday cards in your bedroom?

--- yes the ones mike gave me

.

8) Did you enjoy your weekend?

--- nope. i just stayed at home. hehe

.

9) Do you have any homework to do?

--- nope. im out of school now

.

10) The person you have feelings for shows up at your house, what do you do?

--- faint coz he's not suppose to be here. wont be here anymore

.

11) Last movie seen at home?

--- slumdog millionaire

.

12) Do you watch MTV anymore?

--- no mtv at home. hehe

.

13) When your computer makes you mad, do you ever catch yourself yelling at it?

--- yeah. hehe

.

14) Do you hate it when people smoke around you?

--- nah i cant stop them so there's no point of hating them

.

15) How tall is your #1 featured friend?

--- i dont have featured friends

.

16) Do you sleep with one leg out from under the covers?

--- nope

.

17) What do the majority of people in your life call you?

---bagi and jorge

.

18) Have you recently talked to someone when they were high?

--- nope. i dont know any people na high

.

19) Is tomorrow looking good?

--- nope. just the same

.

20) Do your parents force you to go to church?

--- nope!! but now they kind of. hehe.. especially papa

.

21) If you had died four days ago, would you have missed out on something big?

--- yeah :( but i wish i just died 4 yrs ago

.

22) Would you rather get drunk or high?

--- neither.

.

23) Would you rather paint or draw a picture?

--- take a pic! hehe

.

24) You got laid last night, didn't you?

--- i was crying all night!

.

25) Is your last ex still someone you care about?

--- of course not. i dont have feelings for them anymore. not a snippet

.

26) Have you ever kissed someone that name started with a S?

--- stacey my friend. beso2x. hehe

.

27) What's the biggest annoyance in your life right now?

--- im annoyed of myself

.

28) When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?

--- hehe. i dont punch people in my mind and in my deeds

.

29) Do you believe that you could change for someone?

--- yeahh

.

30) Is there someone you don't ever want to be out of your life?

--- mike :(

.

31) Are you happy?

--- no im not. my life sucks.

.

32) Who was the last person to surprise you?

--- uhh none

.

33) Where did you get your last bruise from?

--- i dont remember anymore

.

34) Who was the last person to text you?

--- c julia naningil sa iyang 500 ni chena! haha

.

35) Have you ever thought you were gonna die?

--- yeah. when i was food poisoned, when i drowned, whenever i cross the street too

.

36) Who is the first person you would go to if you had a problem?

--- none. i keep it to myself and cry out loud all by myself and smile and act as if nothing has happened after. hehe

.

37) How many TRUE friends do you have that you can tell anything to?

--- very few of them but im very very grateful though

.

38) What's one action you do when you're really nervous?

--- i cant stop from shaking my legs. hehe

.

39) Do you mean anything to the last boy you held hands with?

--- i never held anybody's hands

.

40) Do they mean anything to you?

--- wut?

.

41) Where did you go last night?

--- my room.

.

42) Has someone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?

--- nope

.

43) Do you have any plans for this week?

--- nope

.

44) How did you feel when you woke up today?

--- im feelin like crying again

.

45) Do you believe in love?

--- yeah and its not easy.. its full of pain. i see it to my sis, my parents and with myself